like other beginners
I remember the end
the less bearable shape
the strike of your hidden
from me heart
inevitable remainder make
landscape in this blood
Ah, November! This month never fails to disappoint me in how it shows up as a roaring beast of sorts. The beast is skeletal however, in its form. The naked tree branches reaching bleakly for a sky that is somewhere between frozen and thawing, and almost always grey. One feels a sense of desperation at the thought of the long winter months to come, yet also an endless fascination with the energy of things dying all around one.
It is deep magic. Insightful and morose. Cold and bony.
I find this year, that a new god has knocked upon my door. Now, it has been an intense year for me in many ways, as I know it has been for many of you as well, and in truth, because of this it has been some time since I have let a new deity show up in the rain, with a knock on my apartment door, carrying a great bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. When we are reforming ourselves, the idea of someone new coming in and shaking up our already very shaken bits, can seem too overwhelming.
Yet, sometimes it is exactly what we need, as visceral experiences can push the ready-to-be-released bits right to the surface for us.
It’s interesting, because as with any relationship, we do not always get to choose which deity is going to meet up with us. Just as in various human relationships, we don’t always consciously choose who we are attracted to, or say, who our parent(s) are. At an unconscious level we can say all of this is written out, but here in the physical it can truly feel as if sometimes things just happen. Every once in a while deity will just show up and you will end up choosing to answer the door. Intriguing experiences can then ensue, and sometimes our lives are forever changed by this meeting. Sometimes we just come to a new understanding that serves us well on our paths for a time; either way, it is fated.
I work with a lot of various aspects and expressions of deity personally, and I bring in even more when I work with clients. So it’s difficult at this point to surprise me when I have one come into the circumference of my energetic awareness. However, Eros did indeed surprise me. If you are a follower of my channel then you’ll already know that I tend to go in for the dark and brooding Gods, not a god associated with traditional aspects of love and trust.
His knock was not loud, and the wine was greatly appreciated. I suppose a good red makes sense for the god of love. Contrary to popular religious opinion, Eros is not a fat baby cherub, carrying a bow and arrow, instead he appears often as a tall, masculine human, with the scent of bergamot and crisp woods in his long hair.
We might like to think his arrival is equated with an experience of physical love with another human in our lives, and while that may indeed be the case for some of us, when he appeared earlier this month for me, it was not the case.
He knows I am alone at this point in my life, and much like the Seven of Skulls in the Tarot of Vampyres, his words carry a tinge of necessary reevaluation in their tone and expression. It is not at this time about being in romantic love with another human, but instead about figuring out my own approach to authentic connection. This of course has to begin with the self.
His arrival is a clarion call to examine how i experience love and express it.
What is love? Is it an openness, a oneness, an empowered choice to trust? These are the questions Eros carries with his windswept arrival at my door.
In what ways do we make love a power play, a bargain, a battle in which only one individual can win?
Why do we often assume love means we must make a martyr of ourselves? Sacrificing what is best for us, in order for the other individual(s) to be happy and to know they are cared for?
Can love be an open expression of presence and trust? Can we allow ourselves to stay in alignment with our highest good while experiencing profound connection with another human being?
Eros is not soft and cuddly, he radiates intensity and holds those who connect with him to absolute honesty. However, this does not mean great conversation is not allowed with his presence, and that laughter is not a part of our jazz infused ruminations.
I know I will not emerge from our encounters the same being, but will be irrevocably changed from the discourse and the lessons.
We can connect with deity at any point and time our journey, whether we choose to believe in them as actual beings, or as an aspect of our selves. Sometimes we get to invoke them and sometimes they choose us.
This November, may you be blessed with dialogue and connection that leads you ever more deeply into love, and that keeps you snuggly warm on these cold nights!
For more insight into building a connection with deity check out the following video just uploaded to the channel:
Much Love and Many Blessings,